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What People Mean When They Type…

Humans are tricky and trickier are the ulterior messages they pass when they say what they say but mean nothing of what they just said. So, while you might just have had very deceiving conversations all this while, here are some frequently used replies to help you decode what they actually mean so you can alert your senses, plan your texting/talking game and know what they mean the next time you hear them.

  1. I’m fine–  You should come give me a pep talk or apologise because you’re probably the reason why I’m upset and you should know that without me telling you that.
  2. LOL– I am not laughing. At all. But, I have to because you’ll feel bad.
  3. Wow– It might or might not be as wowish as I said it is, but I don’t really have much to say to what you just told me and, also because I’m bored.
  4. I’m not hungry– I can eat a whole large pizza right now, even eat you up raw, but I want to pretend I’m not so hungry because I don’t wish to appear to be the hogger that everyone thinks I am.
  5. This is whatever– This is probably the most important thing in my life right now and I keep thinking about it all-the-time but I don’t say it because then you’ll know I keep thinking about it which I don’t want should happen.
  6. She was nice– I was already fantasising doing inappropriate things to her but I couldn’t tell you and I’ll instead hide under the facade of being cool.
  7. Umm– (shouting in my head) Do you realise how rude that was or do you realise how wrong you are when you just said that because you told me just the opposite and now I don’t know what to tell you to show my disapproval!
  8. Do you think he’s cute?– Would you think I’m a total superstar and a winner in life if I went out with him?
  9. I’m a little tied up– I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, don’t you get it?
  10. With all due respect– Without any respect at all.
  11. I’ll see what I can do– I can’t and tell you the same again in a couple days to show that I tried which I didn’t because there’s nothing I can do about it.
  12. What are you doing these days?– Just wanted to gauge which one of us has been more successful since leaving school.
  13. Let’s catch up soon– Not really. Don’t really fancy seeing your face right now.
  14. I don’t want to ruin our friendship– I don’t really fancy seeing you naked, tbh.
  15. You look fine– What are you even wearing? But, I don’t have the patience for you to change and look just as bad again so let’s just go now.
  16. No offence– What I just said to you is actually very offensive but you can’t get offended because I said no offence and cleared my track.
  17. I’ll surely let you know– Deep inside my heart, I know I’m never going to say yes but I’m just going to say this to keep all the convincing and awkwardness at bay.

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