From Guilt-free sex to sweaty nationalist, This Artist Turns Random Tinder Dates into a fun Art Project
You match with them, exchange numbers, go out for a date, the date can lead you find your soul-mate or you might end up being a part of this project that brings to you the most hilarious tinder tales.
Mumbai-based Indu Harikumar started with writing four of her tinder experiences when in Europe and of few of her friends. “I had turned off tinder within 24 hours of installing it,” she remembers. “Because of being tortured by men who were outright creepy.”
After getting to know about the best moments of people on tinder (most of which were funny), she decided to start an online art project #100IndianTinderTales.Read here, a few witty and the best tales posted on artist’s Facebook and Instagram page called Individuality:
#Running into Tinder date when you are on another date!
“I get up from the table and shake my head to tame my curls. My sister and I have finished our customary Sunday post-church lunch. As I turn to walk out of the restaurant (with fake granite walls and fake grape vines, for fake Silicon Valley aesthetes), our eyes meet. You freeze. For a fraction of a second, we face each other, a cold pallor of fear clouds your eyes and your pale face pales even more. The whiskers of your scruffy little goatee, which I found endearing on your profile picture (orange flame, lustily mutually swiped right), quiver involuntarily, reminding you somethings cannot be controlled. I flash a quick glance at the girl you are with, the girl trying hard to adjust her skirt (riding dangerously up her thighs, attempting to catch your glance with each upward tug) as she sits down, the girl who either has a crush on you or who you want to associate with publicly; the girl who may (I said ‘may’. Possibly.) silently crave for your pink make pao lips (slightly calloused by the ciggies you smoke), the girl who would never know you found more solace lapping, soaring, sighing between the lithe, hairy outstretched legs of other young men. I walk on, letting my kurta (delicate orange threat dancing through black cotton) flutter behind me as I step into the hot angry afternoon glare. The Bangalore sun glistens in my eye as I throw my head back and laugh, imagining your fear of me outing you. I have better things to do in life darling. Like, write. Or Instagram. It was just another day in the city.”
#Tindering to find salons”
I moved to my new house in Delhi over the weekend. That Saturday there was a lot of power cut and I was getting bored at home. I remembered how my friend was bragging about how he was getting ‘lucky’ that weekend . He had been using Tinder for quite a while but this was his only lucky weekend.So anyway.I thought I’ll create a profile and see what it’s like. Once I logged in, I realized this might actually be a good place to ask people about Delhi and things to do in Delhi. At that point the thing on top of my list was to get a haircut. So I swiped right some ‘nice’ men and pretty much all the women who showed up in my circle. One of them refused to believe that I was a woman. She kept asking me to come on Skype and record a message. In the middle of all this, I still tried to wean information regarding places to get a haircut. She didn’t agree and unmatched me!Another girl thought I was being trivial by logging in and asking people for places to get a haircut. Anyway, I asked 3 women for places for a haircut and nobody answered my question.Then I swiped right some 2 men. One of them actually turned out to be chill and we went to eat cake at this awesome place the other day. We talked bullshit and not sex ..so that was a good thing.Another one I swiped right because he liked comics. When I asked him which comics, he said ‘DC comics’ and I was like, ‘meh’. Then I forgot to unmatch him. Everyday he would message a good morning. I ignored him. Yesterday he finally gave in and sent me a dirty message about how he wanted to kiss my neck and lick my pussy. I wasn’t angry when I read it but I felt icky.So anyway that was Tinder for me no more tinder for me. I am committed.”
#Sex or no sex: Period!
“I am two and a half days into my period but want to call him over. In the afternoon it seems like I can manage it. By manage I mean it isn’t a torrential flow, just a light, and mild drizzle. But I am still worried. So I message my best friend for a quick discussion like I do before making any important decisions in life.“I like him and we want to do it. But I am chumming, is it a bit much for the first time?”“Period sex is the best sex. Pro tip: Just put a dark towel on the bed. Go for it, babe!”She goes on to tell me a story of someone who had period sex ending with, “You are naturally lubricated.” Adding again, “Period sex is the best sex.”I call him and he agrees to come. There is a tacit agreement this is about sex or so I think.I message her again. “Whoa! That’s my girl! Keep the towel ready.”“Should I tell him I am chumming, I did mention yesterday.”She says yes and tells me how I should have a shower just before I meet him. “It reduces the bleeding.” I make mental notes and go online to read about period sex. To know what men think of period sex, dos and don’ts, Positions that work, Gravity and flow, Pregnancy and the period. An article I read, says that women are more squeamish about period sex than men. I like the way it ends – Men ejaculate. Women have periods. Both are messy and so is good sex. I am convinced. I run for a shower, in the shower I feel I have been hit by the GreatWave off Kanagawa! I am bloody red. When I meet him, both my flow and my urge are unmanageable. We kiss hungrily. Undress hastily.“Do you have a condom?”“No, I have a period.”“Then we will do what we do.” We do what we do. He leaves. The next morning I wake up happy knowing that I don’t owe my body to anyone, that my boundaries of comfort are my own and I don’t need to explain. I don’t have to feel ashamed about the period or not being ‘available’ for sex. It is a step ahead for me. For next time, I am keeping condoms ready. “
#A night of unbridled passion
“By age 37, I have experienced the truest of loves and its devastating loss. A heart that has loved so singularly & lost so purely becomes either fearless or reckless. So when a chance Tinder encounter (*truly* chance because he is only in the same location for a couple of hours when we ‘match’) reveals himself to be perfect in all ways except that he’s married, I don’t disqualify him. It is the coldest thing I’ve ever done – to pursue an intensely sexual encounter with an absolute stranger from whom my heart wants nothing. It also makes me feel alive. We meet and have a spectacular night without an ounce of sleep. I get a cab in the early hours of the morning and as I ride back, there’s a smile on my face, a glow in my body and an absolute absence of guilt.”
#Bad breath: A real life problem
“I had had a few bad Tinder dates.And then I went on another one and we were having a really nice time. We were both a bit drunk and ended up going to her place.We got more drinks and one thing led to another. We got really comfortable, things were heating up between us. She was sitting very close to me and I could smell something. I couldn’t say what!I was too drunk and still trying to figure what the fuck it was. Then we were about to make out and I realised, “Fuck! She has bad breath.” That killed everything for me and I didn’t know how to tell her this. Anyhow, I excused myself and got back home and never called her back.She called me in a few days and I had to take a lot of bullshit from her and I did. I didn’t know what to tell her. Bad breath is a turn-off. Period.But how do you tell someone their breath stinks? “